Tuesday 26 June 2012

Three In The Bed !

When I gave birth to Xene, I spent two nights in hospital, being my first baby and to keep an eye on my rocketing blood pressure due to pre-eclampsia.
After two nights I was fed up and wanted to be home in my own house.

That first night at home, I remember so clearly, we had a chair in the corner for me to sit in and feed her, a place for changing her nappy and her lovely little moses basket in the corner of our bedroom, just as I thought it should be set up. When she woke up I dutifully picked her up, then changed her nappy, she probably didn't need it changing but that was what it had said in the book, then I sat in the chair to feed her, after she had finished I winded her and placed her in the cold moses basket, to which she immediately began screaming and proceeded to return most of the milk that I had given her!!

This routine went on for a few nights and I began to realise that I couldn't physically function on zero sleep, so something had to change....

Nappies were no longer changed at every feed during the night, in fact very seldom did I change it during the small hours, and I began feeding Xene lying in our bed, which settled her quickly and she no longer screamed.

I began to feel more confident about caring for her and knew that the slightest murmur from her and I was wide awake (the same could not be said of my husband, who still doesn't hear them 14 years later!!) therefore there was no harm in me sleeping with her next to me in the bed.

At the time it was quite a big issue and I was constantly reading information telling you not to share a bed with your baby, that it was dangerous and you could suffocate them, but I knew that my instincts for taking care of Xene were too great to put her in any danger, plus I was doing her no good being a zombie mum all day.

And so, our journey with co-sleeping began, and it has continued with every child that we have had. I have never made a secret of the fact we co-sleep, it just doesn't come up very often in conversation, a bit like the feeding past age one!!

However I have been rather shocked by some reactions whenever I see an article about co-sleeping, which is the reason I decided to write my final post about this subject.

I have read comments that you will have the child in your bed forever, which is not the case, occasionally we get a visit from Eowyn aged three, but that is usually if she has had a bad dream or needs something. I don't actually think all eight of us would fit in our bed to be quite honest, although at the weekend they do try!! Each child has moved easily and stress free into their own little junior bed, when they have been ready.

I do not drink or smoke, therefore my children are not being put at risk, and I think having them so close to you makes you very aware of their movements and breathing, which I find comforting.


Thankyou for reading my post, if you have any comments please feel free to leave them below.

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  1. My only personal goal is to breastfeed as long as my baby wants to, but in general I do try to encourage as many of my friends to breastfeed as I can. When I had my daughter I never thought I would stick at it (that first week was a killer!) but I'm so glad I did. I think its important that new mums realise it might well hurt at first but it really doesn't last long. Everything I read said if it hurts you're not feeding properly but in my experience that's simply not true.
    I co-slept with my son and it worked for us. I never did with my daughter (too frightened by all the negative press out there) but I wouldn't hesitate to do it again :)

  2. Great post and also great comment from new mummy.
    My goals are to keep feeding until my daughter doesn't need me to anymore. We never set out intending to cosleep but it happened and I love it. I would definitely do it again.
    I wish more was said about how painful feeding can be. I found it really upsetting in the first few weeks as I thought I must be doing it wrong for it to hurt so much. I wasn't, and I am so grateful to my mum and the midwives for their reassurance that it was normal!!
    I find it strange that I feel like I have to justify our decision to cosleep, as if it was an odd thing to do. It seems so natural to me.

  3. My goal is just to keep going as we are, tandem nursing a toddler and a baby. Not sure when they'll decide to stop but we're all happy as it is at the moment.

    Well done for joining the co-sleeping gang tthough, it just makes sense!

  4. I too co-slept for about the first 6 months with Pickle. After an emergency c-section, it was difficult to pick him up & down for night feeds, and I definitely got lots more sleep that way.

    I moved him into his own cot after he started rolling & crawling. My next goal is to move the cot into his own room once he starts sleeping through the night *please*

  5. Lovely post, I bedshare too and I try to be open and honest about it to reassure other mums (and educate some health professionals!) that it's a really normal thing to do. My only goal is to keep nursing for as long as my two boys want to, they are still going strong and 10 months and 4 years old!

  6. Thank you for reassuring me that co-sleeping is ok! My goal is to keep breastfeeding until I go back to work full time.

  7. To keep feeding for as long as my baby wants and needs it.

  8. My breastfeeding goal is to carry on for as many months/years as little Rosie-Faith likes!

    She gains so much more than just nutrition from breastfeeding , so long may it continue!

  9. To carry on until my son is ready to wean himself. And to stand up to the peer pressure from GPs, health visitors etc.

  10. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and intended breastfeeding for a couple of months, but after spending the afternoon/evening blog hopping reading fantastic blog posts for breastfeeding week I'm more inclined to go with the flow and take each day as it comes.

  11. With my daughter cosleeping is the only way I get sleep some nights although since about 5 months she always starts the night in her cot, it's after the first feed I have problems persuading her she wants to sleep on her own.
    I hope to feed as long as my daughter wants to

  12. I think its always best to do whatever feels right i coslept with my little girl. To be honest it was my mother in law that suggested it so i could get some sleep and it was sooo wonderful having such a long sleep that first night and it just felt natural my little girl slept better and so did i as i wasnt constantly waking to check or feed her.
    My goals will be the same when bump arrives to take each day as it comes, relax, enjoy and allow her to feed until she decides when to stop.

  13. My goal is to keep on feeding...