Ten Things My Midwife or Health Visitor Never Told Me About Breastfeeding

The information that we receive before we begin our breastfeeding journey is wonderful, and can help us greatly, this post however with the theme of mum-to-mum sharing hopefully will have you nodding in agreement or laughing along with me, these ten things are my own personal experience, but I hope you get what I mean...

1.       Leaky boobs !

I knew that mums who breastfed were prone to slight leaking, but never knew that each mum had a different amount of milk. I found out after having my first daughter that my milk was in abundance, I vividly remember sitting at home feeding her and my favourite shirt becoming completely soaked, much to the embarrassment of my sister’s boyfriend, who was sat in the room!! Each subsequent birth has been the same, I could probably feed most of Norfolk and Suffolk… as my mother in law says, I certainly have Gold Top!!

2.       Breastfeeding is Orgasmic!

Don’t panic ladies, I don’t mean the scene from `When harry Met Sally’ that every time we breastfeed we started banging the table and shouting Yessss but when we breastfeed Oxytocin is released, also known as the happy drug, and also present after an orgasm, which is why every woman should breastfeed, that way we could all be happy for most of the time - when we are not sleep deprived zombies!!

3.        My Baby looks Drunk!   

If you have a baby that enjoys good long feeds, then you will understand what I am talking about, when they finish their feed they have a glazed look in their eyes and look as if they have had far too much beer!! Not to forget the hypnotic power of feeding your baby, how it is possible just to drop off to sleep, no matter where you are or who you are with, I have been known on a few occasions to actually fall asleep whilst sitting feeding and having a conversation with members of my family, or be watching a film, then realise it has ended and you have no idea what has happened!!

4.       I have my own fountain!

I am still amazed at how far I am able to shoot milk from my breast, my poor babies have all been covered in it, my husband has been soaked by it and if one of the children pulls away whilst feeding I have no control over where it sprays or how far it reaches… Only the other day I was hand expressing whilst in the bath as I felt one of my ducts was becoming blocked, my three year old walked in and stared in amazement, “Wow mummy your booby is like a fountain” for the past few days this has been her main topic of conversation…

5.       I have My Own Cannonballs !

As most of you will know from reading my last post, I have never been blessed with large breasts, only whilst breastfeeding, but what shocked me the most was when the milk comes in, or I haven’t fed for a while, they really do resemble a pair of cannonballs, and I feel so sorry for the baby trying to feed at this stage, it looks like a very difficult job, they really look as if they are working overtime to latch on.

6.       Yes They Are My Own Boobs !

Following on from Cannonball boobs, I was quite amazed when I had full breasts, how many people thought I had gone and had a boob job, I had heard one of the ways to tell was when lying on a beach, someone whose boobs stayed upright and didn’t flop to the sides had probably had a boob job, well let me tell you, someone with engorged breasts or full of milk also keep them in place.

Three years ago I was playing in a Beach Rugby tournament and we had a few well known rugby players taking part, we all had our t-shirts signed by them, one very cheeky chap signed across my chest, and another girls,making a comment about boob enlargement and how he could tell just from looking, I didn’t want to embarrass the rather lovely man, but my breasts had other ideas as they began leaking all over my newly signed t-shirt, the look of confusion and embarrassment on his face made me smirk all day, and now when I see him playing rugby on TV I do chuckle to myself….

7.       Bullet Nipples

And finally, the last part of the breast in this discussion is the nipple, I am still amazed how something so sensitive can turn into what I can only describe as a bullet, I am beginning to see where Madonna got her idea for the cone bra, I read somewhere that they thought it resembled a wet puppy’s nose, and I guess they are right when feeding, however get me out in the cold and I seriously think I could take someone’s eye out!! Thank goodness for padded bras and breast pads…

8.       The Thirst

Is it me, or does everyone find that when feeding they could drink an entire two litre bottle of liquid, seriously, if you suffer from the thirst, you will know exactly what I mean, whenever I sit down to feed one of my little ones I ensure I have a large glass of squash, or if I am feeling particularly low on energy a glass of fizzy (sshh don’t tell my diet, that bans all junk and fizzy!!). I found that with baby number one, when I stayed in hospital for two days I drank lots, I think this was mainly due to boredom as I was the only BF mum, so was in a whole six bedded bay by myself, but when I returned home, I didn’t drink so much, but boy did I start drinking again, the lack of liquid did nothing to dilute the wee and it stung like mad, therefore I would recommend that every new mum drink lots of fluids, to avoid that stinging sensation…

9.       Baby Makes a great bib

Another thing I was never told was just how much it was possible to do whilst breastfeeding your baby, read a book, write a letter, type a breastfeeding post (yes I am doing that now!!) and also to eat your meals, because you can guarantee as soon as you sit down to eat a meal, your little one will feel the need to eat too. Over the years I have learnt never to eat a meal that is either hot or that could stain, as no matter how careful you are, every now and again, a little bit of your meal will find its way onto your baby’s head or arm, sometimes even leg… or is it just me that’s a messy eater !!

10.       ALWAYS label the breastmilk in the fridge.

This may seem like an obvious one, but I thought I would mention it, as my husband has been caught out a few times, and almost had cereal a la breast milk, now I know some people are OK with it, but I am still torn, yes if it was the only thing left in the world I would obviously drink it, but it’s the own body fluid issue I think. There are recipes available for breast milk ice cream, lollies, in fact a few websites list lots of recipes, where you just substitute cow’s milk for breast milk. I remember being at college doing my nursery nursing course and being given the opportunity to try breast milk then, but it has never really grabbed me….

These are just my observations throughout my last 14 years of breastfeeding (OMG really..), if you have any others, please comment below.

If you have enjoyed reading, you will find more articles about breastfeeding at these locations.

Little Scribbles

Mama Geek

Diary of The Milkshake Mummy

Life, Love and Living with the boys

My Mummys Pennies

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